▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who say that life is getting harder compared to that of older generation has become harder in comparison to older generation. I personally disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, people can get a lot of information easier and faster. To explain, with the advent of the Internet, regardless of which kinds of information people want, they can search and gain resources they need just in a few seconds. As a result, these days people don’t do not (독립형 에세이에서는 줄인말을 서술하면 안됩니다) have to visit libraries and go to shopping malls to purchase something. A study conducted by the National Social Media Institute is a good example to support the opinion. They found out the citizens in Seoul used libraries four times less frequently than they did ten years ago using libraries four time less frequently. In the survey, respondents who answered to go to libraries once a year said that almost every information they needed was always accessible through the Internet. Even they needed books Even if they needed books, they preferred to purchase books online or borrow books from online libraries. They said that going to libraries was not an efficient way to get information these days.
On top of this, there are way more developed medical treatments. To be specific, if people get sick, they can get a lot of medicine and make use of health care systems. These were not available to those of the past. For instance, when my grandmother got cancer 30 years ago, she had a difficult time to look for proper treatments as well as doctors. In addition, she was not provided with sufficient medicine due to the high prices. However, as soon as my mom was diagnosed with same cancer as my grandmother’s, she could be properly treated by several doctors and experts who were related to her symptoms so that she could recover quickly.
In conclusion, access to the information is much easier and a lot of better medical treatment systems are available now. In this regard, I think living these days is much more comfortable than any other periods.
점수: 26 항상 숙지하면서 서술해야하는 부분은 독립형 에세이에서는 줄인말을 서술하면 안됩니다. 지금 이 에세이는 이러한 부분을 재외하면 전체적으로 자신의 주장을 잘 전달하고 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 각 단락의 구체적 설명들을 통하여서 왜 현재의 삶이 과거의 삶보다 더 좋았는지를 잘 설명하고 있습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |