▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable
whether the parent constrain time that their children spend using electronic
devices. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue
can be different depending on the individual perspectives. In my opinions,
however, I support that the parent should limit their children’s time using
electronic devices for the following reasons.
First
of all, children should be limited their time using electronic devices in order
to do another activity. To be specific, when they use electronic devices only
for an hour, they can they can spend that left time on other things like
reading a book and going to the gym with friends. For example, when I was in
child, my parents limited my time using the internet. Thus, I could have a
chance to go to the park with my friends and to have a great time with my
family. I think that this is very valuable memories in my life. If my parent
did not constrain my time, I would not have meaningful experiences.
Second,
using always electronic devices cannot have educational life. To be specific,
today’s children always use electronic devices for anything other than school
work, which as a result allows children to be passive and even isolate their
real life. Moreover, they cannot focus on their study. For example, when I was
in children, I always used the computer for playing games and shopping. Thus, I
did not concentrate my school work and even not talk to anyone sometimes.
Therefore, my parents limited my time for using computer. As a result, I could
more focus on my study and also get a good grade. If I have always used the
computer, I would get low grades.
In
conclusions, I believe that the parent should constrain time that their
children spend using electronic devices for anything another than school work
for the following reasons
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 설득력 부분에 있어서 자신의 주장을 잘 전달하고 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 각 단락의 구체적 설명들을 통하여서 왜 부모님이 아이들에게 컴퓨터 시간을 사용하는데에 있어 제한을 주어야 하는 지를 잘 설명하고 있습니다. 잘 서술하였습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |