▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether when people consider a major purchase, which has the greatest impact on their choices when considering a major purchases which one is, among three choices; recommendation from friends, magazines and review from online communities, the best one. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different depending on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that reviews from online communities are the greatest impact on their purchases for the following reasons decision purchase for the subsequent reasons. To begin with, reviews from online communities help people success to succeed in regard response to choice. To be specific, online communities broaden people's perspectives. Since this help helps people better understand other people's perspectives and opinions. People may come up with ideas that have been overlooked by others, as the saying goes, “Two heads are better than one.” Their suggestions are likely to reduce the chance of making a mistake. Suppose that you decide your someone decides own device only referring to information from magazines. Would it be possible to know the device's reputation? It is highly doubtful. The best way to success succeed in selection is to listen to many people's opinions. For example, when I was a high school freshman, I planned to by buy a new laptop to get various information which is helpful to my academic performance. I had no information of the laptop. At first, I asked my best friend, Sam, which laptop is popular for the students. He recommended me a 'Super A' model, which was high price and low quality model. I was really surprised and found information in the online community. The online community is related to electronic devices, so they knew a lot of information about laptops. I referred to their opinions, and then purchased the ipad. By listening various people's opinions, I could learn a lot of information about laptops. As a consequence, I bought my laptop which was cheap price and had high techniques. I have used the ipad until now, 24 years old. In conclusion, I firmly believe that reviews from online communities are the best factor on purchase purchasing important things. All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been precisely and effectively delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future. Fair: 17~23 점수: 18 너무 장황합니다. 한 단락 안에 너무나 많은 정보를 넣으려고 하니까 장황하고 문법적 오류들도 나타는 것 같습니다. 이렇게 한 단락에 너무나 많은 정보를 넣는 것 보다는 효율적으로 두 개 이상의 이유를 서술하는 게 좋습니다. 이렇게 서술하다 보면 설득력도 없고 논점 부분에서도 잘못 벗어날 수 있는 위험성도 있습니다. 따라서 하나의 단락으로 마무리 하려고 하는 것 보다는 두 개 이상의 이유를 서술하시는 것 이 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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