▶ Your Answer :
Q. it is sometimes acceptable to infringe upon people’s
freedom.
Freedom is one of the core values comprising moral virtues
in moral society after the French Revolution. It is true that liberty is a very important virtue
and should be guaranteed to everyone. However, I personally hold an idea that
there are several circumstances that freedom must be carefully infringed on
account of two following reasons. First, guaranteeing people’s limitless
freedom may harm social security. Moreover, people with minor background might
be self-destructive without any fence constructed for them.
To begin with, freedom should be given to a person only if this freedom does not harm one of the others.
To iterate, if one person can freely damage other’s freedom, this person should
be restricted with proper laws. It is true that we should be extremely careful
when making a law to punish certain kind of crime, but we should restrict the liberty of a person when this restriction has
much large benefit to the society. Take an example of a prison, where we
constrain numerous criminals. Prison has two important roles in modern society.
Firstly, confining people is a legitimate
punishment that is given to people who
have done certain kind of bad deeds in the society. By restricting freedom of
the criminals, we can warn people that you one must not do those crimes. Secondly,
the criminals are inclined to commit different crimes when they are released to
the society. Thus, confining the criminals is a kind of segregation of
dangerous people from the normal people. For two reasons discussed above, the
prison of our society has much important advantages than disadvantages that it
intrinsically infringes the freedom of the criminals.
Last but not least, restriction of freedom can guarantee a
minimum level of life of members of society, especially of the people with minor
backgrounds. Since people sometimes become very self-destructive when their
life is miserable, the society should perform the role as an invisible ground
for them. A recent research by National Economics Research Institute in Korea
aligns very well with this argument. According to the research, people whose
annual income belongs to the lowest 10 percent group are much likely to make
self-destructive decisions, such as committing a suicide or quitting their educations. In order to prevent the people
from destroying themselves, our society made purchasing a suicide medicine
illegal. Also, middle school education is mandatory in Korea because people
should get a minimum education for their
living. If were it not for the laws that limit the freedom of people in the difficult environment, wage-gap between the
poor and the rich would skyrocket and our society would collapse.
In a nutshell,
although whether the restriction of freedom is necessary is open to
interpretation, it seems reasonable to claim that careful infringement of
freedom is beneficial to the society because of the two reasons discussed in
this essay. Good:24~30 점수: 28 정말 잘 서술하였습니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 적합한 에세이인거 같습니다. 문법적 구조 논리적인 부분 그리고 각 바디 예시와 이유의 연관성 모드가 충족된 에세이인 거 같습니다. 너무 잘 서술하였기에 지적할 수 있는 부분이 없습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |