▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, people are able to do a lot of things with their friends. In this vein, some people take for granted that it's more desirable to make new friends that they did not know in the past, while others do not think differently. If I were asked to show my perspective, I would like to demonstrate that keeping my old friends closer is better. There is one reason and specific example to suport my perspective, based upon my inderect experience.for the following two subsequent reasons.
Spending time with people they have already been familiar with plays a significant role in helping people strengthen their emotional bonds and feelings of security in their relationships To begin with, people can strengthen their emotional bonds and feelings of security. When people are with their loved ones, they are able to relieve stress while communicating deeply with others, eventually get closer to one another can relieve stress as they can communicate deeply with each other Being with people they care about tends to prevent them from feeling lonely and their lives from being meaningless. For example, John, one of my closest friends, often felt depressed thinking that his life became an exhausting routine when he moved to a new school composed of classmates he did not meet before. To survive in a competitive world, she spent the whole day studying all academic subjects, hoping that he could outdo others. Although he made constant efforts, it was not easy because everyone was working as hard as he was. To make matters worse, he had difficulty make friends he could rely on since all ot them seemed busy and indifferent to others, treating each other as rivals making friends as others were indifferent to him. Fortunately, he was able to deal with such pressures and stress after going back to his countryside during vacation. He had meals with his friends he had known for a long time everyday and even obtain words of comfort, which helped him let off some steam.
As I've demonstrated above, they are many pros and cons against the statement. But in my view, I have a strong conviction that the advantages of keeping in touch with my old friends far outweighs those of making new friends. All in all, the importance of maintaing tighten relationships among old colleagues should not be overestimated in life.
점수: 21 일단 지금 이 에세이는 한 단락에 너무나 많은 정보를 넣으려고 합니다. 이러한 경향이 심하다 보니 까 전체적으로 에세이가 장황하다라는 느낌이 많이 듭니다. 에세이가 장황하게 되다 보면 본인이 전달하려고 했던 의미가 변질되게 됩니다. 따라서 이 에세이 처럼 장황하게 에세이를 서술하는 것 보다는 간결하게 본인의 주장을 구체적으로 보여줄 수 있는 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |