▶ Your Answer : There might be some people who believe that understanding the past is essential to being able to solve problems to solve problems facing us now and in the future. However, I personally disagree with the above opinion for the two subsequent reasons: our future is unpredictable and new way can be created from new generations. To begin with, the future of our society is unpredictable because the speed of changing is so fast and the size of society is too big contrary to the past. Now, human has many amazing technology which ordinary people even could not imagine at the past. We use many special words like 4th industrial revolution and Artificial Intelligence Era to describe today. It means this century is very different from the past. Let me bring up my personal story for example. When For example, when (let me bring~같은 표현은 구어체이기 때문에 적절하지 않습니다) I was junior student of elementary school, I had been learned the way to use Jusangi -old style calculator- in Math. At that time, teachers and parents believed that Jusangi is important tool to calculate complex figures. Nevertheless their expectation now we do not use this old style calculator because of the invention of computer. was not correct as new technology is now introduced On top of that, sometimes knowing the past can be the obstacles to deal with new style of problems these days. Since, keeping the old habits or thinking might delay to find the way in the changing phase. Generally elderly people think that they can teach children to be prepared for coming futures. However, older people is familiar with the old world are not familiar with updated information (people은 복수 주어 입니다). It is better to put younger people in charge of preparing about future. According to Hanna Arent, a famous sociologist, a new solution for emerging problems always be created by new generations. The only thing adult can do is waiting for this young guys until take deal with some problems by their hands to wait until young generation confront with problems. In the conclusion, predicting by past is impossible because now and our future is so different from the past. Therefore new way only can be created from new generations. In regard with this, knowing the past is not important to being able to solve the challenges facing us now and in the future.
점수: 26 약간의 문법적 오류들이 있습니다. 이러한 어색한 표현과 약간의 문법적 표현들의 오류들을 재외하고는 전체적으로 자신이 무엇을 전달하려고 하는 것인지를 잘 알고 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 각 단락에서의 구체적 설명들과 적절한 예시는 에세이로하여금 왜 과거를 통해서 현재와 미래의 문제들을 해결할 수 있는 지를 논리정연하게 잘 설명해주는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |