■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people might think that teachers should not be allowed to talk about their social or political perspectives in the classroom. However, I believe that teachers should make their social or political views to students for the following two reasons. First of all, students can improve their communication skills. Understanding discussion in the class and the potential role of the teachers' opinions on specific issues is necessary to substantiate this view. Students sometimes have discussion time in the class, but they do not talk to much, because they do not know how to organize their ideas and give opinions to others. However, as a way to improve students' communication skills, teachers can give students their ideas about recent political issues. By giving organized ideas and reasons about specific issues, teachers can encourage students to make their own ideas and share with classmates. In the course of sharing ideas, students listen to other's claims and give their ideas. Even if it is a small contribution, teachers' opinions would help students to improve their communication skills. On top of that, students can have more interests in political and social issues. In response to the increasing importance of students interests in political issues, many expert opinions and research statistics reinforce the idea that teachers' perspectives about political and social issues can increase students' interest in those issues. Experts say that teachers' opinions on political or social issues in the class can promote students to pay attention to what is happening in their communities. For example, since students usually are not interested in political issues, teachers give students their opinions about those issues in the class. They explain what is going on outside the school and encourage the students to participate in the society, which makes students think about what they can do for their communities. It is a good chance for students to open their eyes to the society.
To sum up, I believe that that teachers should make their social or political views to students for the two reasons: to improve communication skills and promote interests in issues. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I mentioned above.
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지난번 첨삭과 관련해 이해가 안 되는 부분이 있는데요,
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=toefl/toefl_info/essay&p=2&type=url&uid=123482
두 번째 단락(Body 1)에서
어떤 부분에 있어서 입증을 할 수 있다는 것인지를 구체적으로 서술하시길 바랍니다
이렇게 코멘트를 달아주셨는데,
'구체적으로 서술하라'고 말씀해주신 부분이 이해가 잘 안 돼서 다시 여쭤봅니다.
두 번째 단락에서 제시한 스토리의(Students sometimes~~) 내용이 빈약하다, 좀 더 풀어서 쓰라는 말씀이신가요???
같은 글 여러 번 봐주셔서 정말 감사드립니다.