■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Your Answer : The reading passage and the lecture are both talking about music education. The reading passage contends about some problems music classes have. On the other hand, the lecturer disagrees with the article's points.
First, the lecturer points that music education does prepare for students' careers for the real world. It actually increases academic performance in other subjects for which music class can not be seen as unrelated field. He gives an example of recent research of workers in Silicon Valley that most of them took music education. This is how the lecturer refutes to the reading that music class is a waste of time.
Moreover, the lecturer says music class is not graded in unfair way. It is true that each student has different musical talent but the grading system also considers several other factors. Since it is possible to have a low grade in music class, it can not be said that their lack of innate musical ability is the only reason of it. Because of those reasons, the lecturer disagrees with the reading's point that grading in music class is unfair for students who lack musical talent.
While both the reading passage and the lecturer deal with the music education, the lecturer effectively opposes all of the specific points presented in reading. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. reading and listening의 비율이 너무 listening쪽으로만 치우쳐져 있습니다.
비율은 5:5, 적어도 6:4 정도는 되어야 합니다.
이는 리딩에 대한 디테일 부족으로 이어지며, 분량 부족, 추가 설명 실패 등으로 이어질 수 있으니
리딩에서도 evidence를 많이 찾아서 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
4. 그리고 이유가 원래 두개밖에 안나왔나요?
보통 통합형 에세이에는 3단락이 나오고 만약 부족하다면 감점이 될 수 있습니다.
참고해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*