■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic :It is
better for young people to select a job in the same field as their parents than
to choose a different career. Disagree |
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▶ Your Answer :Those who agree might say that it is
better for young people to choose a job in the same field as their parents. However,
in my opinion, it is better to try different careers than same field for the
following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, young generation can
realize which occupations fit them are fit to them by working in various workplaces. I
believe experience is one of the most essential factors of success in this
world. Imagine people who only have text book knowledge. Their views will be so
narrow. By trying many kinds of different jobs, they can not only gain diverse
knowledge but also broaden their horizon of the world. For instance, one of my
peers who major in both of biology and statistics did an internship in National
Science Laboratory. However, he was not really interested in working at
laboratory. One day, he saw the advertisement of art museum staff and applied
for it. As he worked in art museum during vacation, he could find what he
really wanted to do in the future. (그가 찾은 꿈이 무엇인지 구체적으로 서술해주세요.)
On top of that, most of employers like
to choose employees who have various experiences than limited experience of one
specific field. To survive in this world of endless competition, people ought
to have different experiences. Everyone is aware that entering the workforce is
like a camel passing through the eye of needle. One's ability can be clouded by
others abilities, so in order to stand out, a person must work in various fields.
To be specific, in a fast-changing business, it is important to adjust to new
circumstances nowadays. If the person who only works in the same field, it would
be hard to deal with (목적어가 없습니다) when the new problem suddenly occurs.
To sum up, young people can know which
jobs are fit to them and employers prefer choosing employees who have diverse
experience. In this regard, I firmly believe (시제) that it is better for young
people to select jobs in different field.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. introduction의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
4. single / various occupation을 물어보는 것이 아니라
parents의 직업을 물려받는 것과 하고 싶은 것을 하는 것에 대한 차이입니다.
different와 various는 엄연히 다릅니다.
따라서 이 에세이는 off-topic에 가깝습니다. 항상 stick to the topic! 해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*