▶ Your Answer :
Some people might believe that a car has cars have been more influential to this world than an
airplanes. But I personally think that airplanes have been more important (important와 influential은
매우 다른 뜻을 가지고 있습니다) for the following reasons. It They globalized the world, and an airplanes allows people to bombard a critical attack to
another nation.
An airplane has
contributed to world’s globalization a lot. Before the advent of airplanes,
intercourse between distant countries was almost impossible due to time and
expense problems. For example, it still takes more than a month for cargo from
Korea to reach Canada. But the emergence of the
airplane solved those problems completely and now we can travel to such
distance within a day. Due to increased convenience, globalization accelerated,
and it has allowed
people to experience exotic and rare foreign cultures.
They are important because experiences are of
utmost importance for people to get through this life. Let me bring up my
personal anesthetic for an example. I once traveled to Roman Rome, and attended a local
school of there for a year. I learned a variety of cultural values such as their foods, and I utilized them by offering
home-made Roman food to my friends and customers. It has helped me maintain good relationship with
them.
Second, an
airplanes can be used in assailing other
countries. Before an the airplane was
invented, there was no such devastating attack method in wars. Armies could
merely point their gun at antagonists of them and fire at them. But with the airplane,
a nation can bombard dreadful explosive weapons
from the sky. Unlike old weapons like a guns
or knives, possible damage of that such an attach
is tremendous that it can kill a bunch of people
at once. In a study regarding World War 2 done
by University of Toronto, with the advent of the airplane, It was estimated that people were killed
at least 100 times more than previous historical wars due to bombardment from
airplanes.
To summarize, airplanes have sped up globalization, which make made
it possible for people to experience a wider range
of thing cultures, and fearsome
bombardment resulted has also been made possible
from an airplane its invention.
In this regard, I consider an airplanes
more influential to this world.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
23 |
Overall
Comment: |
매우 유니크한 주장을 하셔서
좋았습니다. 다만 문법 오류가 잦아서 감점을 드렸어요. 전체적으로 큰 오류들은 아니니 조금만 연습하시면 더 높은 점수를 받으실 수 있을
거라고 생각합니다. |
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