▶ Your Answer : There might be some people who believe that when they shop for something buy something, the greatest influence on their choice to buy the product is recommendation from friends or review from online communities. However I personally disagree with the above ideas with the two subsequent reasons. A Recommendation from celebrities has a powerful effect on the decision because it is reliable and offers abundant information about the product (이미 밑에서 다 이야기를 할것이기 때문에 굳이 인트로에서 장황하게 다 설명할 필요가 없습니다). To begin with, the comment from the celebrities is reliable. To be specific, when the famous people promote the product, they usually consider the product with their image. If the product is bad or not as good as what the ad say,. It will affect their reputation a lot. A survey conducted by the Michigan University of the commerce Department shows that .the more than 79 % of ads model are actually using the product they are going to sell plan to sell before the ads are on the air. So the recommendation from the celebrity is a quite reliable source of the shopping. On top of that, the review of the product suggested by the celebrity is quick and bountiful. This is because that the The (this is because는 적절치 않는 표현 입니다) celebrities communicate a lot with their fans these days through social network such as Facebook and Instagram. So the followers get the information quickly about their stars. For example, a famous actress put a post about her beauty tips. It shows a specific moisturizer. After she posted the comment, I can easily find millions of reviews about the product. Through this, I can get a comparatively objective and wide range of review about the product a lot from a various people of ages. To sum up, reliability and a plentiful of authentic information about the product suggested by the famous figure help me to shop helps me to purchase the product (information은 단수 주어 입니다). In this regards, I think the recommendation from celebrities is the best method to refer to make a purchase.
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 오류가 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 각 단락에서의 구체적 설명과 적절한 예시 사용은 왜 우리가 물건을 살 때에 유명인사들의 리뷰를 통해서 사야하는 지를 구체적으로 잘 말해주고 있는 거 같습니다. 잘 서술하였습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |