■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : What is the most important ability that high school teachers should have? - The ability to give students advice on future career - The ability to help students when they need help - The ability to encourage students to teach themselves outside of the classroom |
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▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, high school teachers’ ability plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. There are many abilities those high school teachers should have like the ability to give students advice on future career, the ability to help students when they need help and the ability to encourage students to teach themselves outside of the class. Respective sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that students benefit the most from the ability to give advice on future career. There are several reasons as follows.
First and foremost, students can achieve bigger success when high school teacher gives an advice on future career. Normally people spend their time at work so, good career has a huge impact on our life. That is why first career is the most important thing for students’ life. Thus, helping students to get a proper career is very important and high school teachers are available to provide an effective advice on future career because teachers spent a lot of time with their students and know their students very well about what kind of things they like and what do they do well. (문장이 너무 깁니다. 적절한 길이에서 끊어주세요.) Also, proper career used to make students successful (품사) in society. When I was a high school student my older sister had to choose her first job. She was so confused at that time because that was her first time and she did not know like what kind of job can make her happy and what kind of job she could do well. Eventually she went to her high school teacher and asked advice about her career. My older sister’s high school teacher answered about it very kindly (어떤 조언을 해주었나요?) and my older sister is a famous lawyer now.
In short, I strongly believe that the advantages of high school teachers’ ability far outweigh those of all other options, such as the ability to help students when they need help and the ability to encourage students to teach themselves outside of the class for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of high school teachers’ ability cannot be overestimated in life.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.
3. 한 가지 option에 대해 길게 써주셨는데
나머지 두 가지 option을 고르면 무엇이 안 좋을지에 대해서도 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*