▶ Your Answer :
Many people might argue that criticizing
someone is not appropriate action to succeed in a group project. On the
contrary to In contrast to the common belief, I strongly think that it is more beneficial for the
following reasons. (뭐가 좋다는 것이죠? 명확하게 서술하시길 바랍니다)
First of all, a team performance are able
to be improved can be improved by fixing some disadvantages. It is obvious that all people have
drawbacks. Thus, it is important that providing a different prospective to a
teammate who is struggle something (전체적인 동사가 어디있나요? 문장이 끝나지 않았습니다). For example, when I was younger, I was
conducting a team project in school. At that time, I had hard time because I
could not figure out the solution. My friend, Seung-hun, came to me and he gave
me a tip for that problem. From his guide, I solved that problem and our team won
the contest of the group project. In this respect, people can have a chance to
fix there problem through the recommendations from teammates. As a result, the
capability of team are able to be advanced.
In addition, it is a good way to encourage
to participate in group project. It is undeniable that people who are in the
group are inclined to focus on the project when they can obtain the attention
from other members. From taking a criticism, the project will be successful
because people in group invest more time and effects on the projects. According
to research done by Stanford University, there are significant differences in
the team performance whether the teams allow to share different opinions for
their member or not. The team, which discussed everything, showed better
outcomes in the all aspects than the other team. The researcher reported that
criticism allows team members to join in their group project consistently
because they aware that they are important member in that group.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that
criticism is needed to make a successful group project based on two reason what
I mentioned above.
점수: 23 일단 철자적 오류들이 있습니다. 이러한 철자적 오류들은 에세이 플로우로 하여금 방해를 주기 때문에 항상 에세이를 서술하고 난 후에 꼭 정검을 하시길 바랍니다. 정검을 하다 보면 본인이 어디서 틀렸는지를 알 수 있게 됨니다. 또한 문장이 완성되지 않는 부분들이 몇몇 있습니다. 동사를 신경 쓰면서 완성시키시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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