▶ Your Answer :
Some people
think that people in the past ate healthier food than today's people do.
However, in my opinion, today's people desire healthy food more than past people. This
is because, in the past, people did not really concern about healthy food and modern
people emphasis on diet.
.
Firstly, in
the past, (콤마 쓰기 아주 중요합니다) people did not really concern about healthy food than in modern days.
People in the past usually scrambled for living, so what they ate was not really
important to them. However, eating well is going to be considered at present
and nowadays, modern people can afford to eat expensive healthy food. Healthy food is
usually more expensive than other food because of fresh and nutritious ingredients.
As time goes by, people can live well, so they pay attention to healthy life. For
instance, even though organic vegetables are pretty expensive, my mother always
likes to buy them and never uses seasoning for family. She does not let her
children to eat fast food for health.
Moreover,
modern people emphasize on healthy diet (diet는 식단이라는 뜻입니다. 따라서 이 맥락에서는 앞에 healthy넣어서 건강한 식단이라는 단어가 맞는 어휘입니다) to get a nice body. By eating healthy food,
people can be prettier and more handsome. To be specific, the importance of
health should be prioritized. Without good health, (콤마 넣기) nothing can be achieved. Like
there is saying, "Sound body, sound mind", keeping in shape enables
people to maximize their work productivity and be self-confident. In this
sense, eating healthy food would be of great help. For example, after I
graduated the college form United States of America, I gained weight a lot because
of greasy and unhealthy food. At that time, I was pretty fat and had bad skin.
In Korea, skinny body is one of the most significant value, so I decided to have a healthy diet. Finally, I lost 8 kilogram and got clean skin. 이 부분은 아예 off topic같습니다
주제 다시 읽어주세요
To sum up,
people in the past did not really concern about healthy food and modern people
emphasis on diet for the present value. In this regard I firmly believed that
today's people eat healthy food than the past.
뒤에 than이 있는데도 앞에 비교급 단어 써주지 않은 경우 너무 많습니다. 콤마 같은 문장부호가 빠진 부분 꽤 되는데 문장부호 문장 뜻을 연결하거나, 분리해 주는 아주 중요한 역할 하는 부분입니다. 꼭 빼놓지 말고 작성해주세요 |