눈에 띄는 단어만 약간 손보았습니다.
빨간색입니다.
저도 틀렸는지 모릅니다.
Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed(damaged) by human activity. Others feel human activity makes the Earth a better, place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. During the last 2000 years , people have developed their civilization for their well-being. In this process, our environment has been altered by human-being activities. Some people say that human-being activity has influenced our planet badly, the Earth. Others say that civilization development leads to progress of our planet. I agree to former opinion. I believe that the Earth has been damaged by mankind activities because these action has brought about air pollution and devastation of our forests. Human activity instigated the Earth's air to be polluted by human, especially after the Industrial Revolution. People burned a lot of carbon-based fuels such as charcoal and coal during the process of the industry. After the Industrial Revolution, this situation happened more and more speedily, in short, we faced a serious air pollution problem. Eventually, in big cities such as New York and Seoul, this problem is more harsh than others. In these cities, it is not surprised that many people go to hospital to treat their respiratory problem. Although mankinds achieved the goal their development, mankinds were suffered by the result of their act, for several hundred years ago. Moreover, human-being activities make the Earth's forest decrease for establishing their factory. Given areas for people in the Earth is definitely limited. Therefore, the more increasing the fields for establishing a factory are, the more decreasing the forests are. For example, in Brazil, a lot of virgin forests, lung of earth. disappear every day. The areas of cut forests per day are larger than the areas of Seoul in Korea. It is a essential problem to address. In conclusion, I believe that human activity has ruined their environment because human activities have given rise to the problems-air pollution and decrease of our forests. Even though it is a partly right fact that human activities make people be happier and more comfortable, it is a distinct fact that human activities are just harmful effect on the environment.