▶ Your Answer :Undoubtedly, children are well prepared to
learn plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places
where work or play. There are many things that to provide books written for
children to read, to read books out loud for children to listen to, and to have
many conversations with children to be prepared to speak with adults. Respective
sides have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose
one, I would say that to may have many conversations with children to be
prepared to speak with adults. There are several reasons as follows. To
begin with, when children got conversation with talk to their loved parents, it could
allow them to improve their relationship. It can give gave children a chance to socialize
with their loved parents by getting to know and understand each other. Being
with people they care about is likely to prevent them from feeling lonely being loneliness.
For example, when my sister in kindergarten, she felt depressed thinking that
her life became an exhausting loneliness because she got easily shame and worried.
So, she spent the whole day playing without friends, hoping that she could play
with other friends. Although she made constant effort, it was not easy because other
children were discounting her. Fortunately, she was able to overcome her
feeling of loneliness by communicating our parents and talking to fun things
with me. She was getting confidence and feeling a better. By doing this, she
was able to connect with other children and promote her conversation skills.
Finally, she was able to speak with other adults such as teacher after she kept
practicing with our parents. Furthermore, she could adjust to elementary school
and get good grades. If she had not practiced with our parents, she would not have
adjusted to elementary school. (일단 예시가 너무 쓸데없이 긴 느낌입니다. communicating하면서 대인관계가 좋아졌다는 내용을 너무 길게 늘여쓴 듯한 느낌이 너무 확들어서 아쉬웠습니다. 짧게 써주세요)
In
short, I firmly think that the advantages of to have many conversations with
children to be prepared to speak with adults far outweigh those of other
options such as to provide books written for children to read and to read books
out loud for children to listen to for the many reasons I have mentioned above.
All in all, the importance of to having many conversations with children to be
prepared to speak with adults cannot be overestimated in life.
일단 기본적인 문법(be동사나 과거 현재 동사 구분)등에서 오류가 굉장히 많이 나는 편입니다. 두번째 paragraph에서 약간은 지루하게 조금 길게 늘여 쓴 부분이 있는 것 같아 아쉽습니다. 또, 두개 이상의 이유가 있는 에세이가 가장 이상적이기 때문에, 다음에는 2개 이유가 있는 에세이 쓰시면 더 좋은 평가 받을 수 있을 거라고 생각합니다. 어휘나 이런 부분에서 약간 다양성이 떨어지니, 조금 더 주의해서 작성해주세요 |