▶ Your Answer :
There is an argument about possibility
of learning leadership. Some people think that leadership is a born-gift.
However, in my opinion, people can learn leadership. The reasons are that
leadership is taught by doing their homework and hanging out with friends. for the following two subsequent reasons.
Firstly, people
can get leadership doing their team project homework. As doing the team
project When doing team project, people can attain responsibility. They have to finish each their own
part that allocated not to be harmful for their team not to cause harmful effect on other team members. The team homework is the sum
of effort of member so team member should support and work hard for their
result as they can do their best. Through the process, people get to consider
other’s sights, pay more attention to finish their work on time and make the
result high quality. This feeling and effort turn to responsibility. For example,
when I was a high school student, I had a presentation with my friends in music
class. At that time, I did not
take apart passionately and then my friends showed me bad feeling and asked me do
my best on the work. As a result, I started to work really hard and improve
the quality of my part. Also I tried to be detrimental for my team. Through
these, I felt to become responsible to do my own part.
On the top of
that, leadership can be improved mingling with friends. by mingling with friend In scope of leadership,
charisma, respect for others, and flexibility is included. These elements are enhanced
engaging in conversation, sharing ideas and experiencing with others. People
can lead the conversation, listen to other’s opinion carefully and sometimes
they have to keep their own opinion. When these are repeated, people can train their
factors of leadership. For instance, there is a study conducted by Harvard
University to determine whether social experience could affect the leadership.
There were two groups monitored. The first group was formed of people who take
a rest alone for 8 hours. The other group consisted of people who take break
time with 5 people together for same time. After that, all subjectives got aptitude
test. The research compared the outcomes and recorded that the former group who
got lower average as the points, 4.5 in leadership area, were worse than the
second group that got 8. The reason was that the second group experienced social
relationship unlike the first group.
To sum up,
leadership is able to be educated by doing group homework and mixing with others.
Therefore, people can gain leadership after borning.
Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 이 에세이를 읽으면서 각 이유가 리더쉽이 배워지는 것이랑 무슨 상관이 있는지에 대한 개연성을 찾기가 어렵습니다. 지금 이 에세이에서 중요한 것은 개연성이 얼마나 좋냐 인데. 지금 각 단락을 읽게 되면 이러한 개연성이 많이 부족하다는 것이 드러납니다. 예시부터 시작해서 구체적인 설명들 까지 부족한 거 같습니다. 따라서 좀 더 에세이를 서술할 때 구체적으로 개연성이 맞는지를 생각 하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|