▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether helping
students gain self-confidence is more important for teachers than teaching
specific knowledge. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning
this issue can be different depending on the individual perspectives. In my
opinion is, however, I support that causing students gain self-confidence is
crucial for several reasons.
First of all, teachers should focus
on improvement of students’ self-confidence. To be specific, self-confidence
allow students proud and have a broad mind, which makes them better manage
stress, maintain health, and build a quality life. Stress is the main cause of
disease and dissatisfying life. Therefor students in modern society should
actively find ways to reduce stress and stay healthy. For example, when I was
younger I made grandly a presentation in front of many people with confidence.
Then many people praised me. It made me smile for hours and relieve stress.
This helped me forget about stressful aspect of my daily life such as studying for
the college entrance exam. Through this experience, I realized that
self-confidence plays a vital role in my life. Hence, this shows that helping
students develop self-confidence is more important for teachers than teaching
diverse knowledge.
In addition, teaching self-confidence
is more advantageous to students than learning diverse knowledge because having
self-confidence accompanies an important educational process. To be specific,
getting self-confidence creates opportunity for students, which as a result
allows people to obtain valuable information, stay ahead, and attain personal
growth. People need to be educational throughout their lives because education
is the most powerful weapon that they can use to change the world as well as
their own lives. To illustration, Bill Gates, who is the founder of Microsoft,
has made great accomplishments in his lifetime. I read online that he was very
successful because he obtained a lot of self-confidence. Therefore, this
provides that helping students gain self-confidence is more important for
teachers than teaching specific knowledge.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that
student acquire self-confidence is more positively affect in their life than
getting knowledge. All things considered, it is my belief that my argument
regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the
reasons mentioned above.
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우에 있어서는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 완벽히 숙지가 되어있는 에세이입니다. 각 단락의 구체적 설명들을 통하여서 왜 학생들이 자신감을 가져야 하는 지를 잘 보여주는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |