▶ Your Answer : Some people argues that young people should be advised to not to select the same area of occupation where their parents are in. However in my opinion, it is better for young people to choose a job in the same area as their parents. There are two reasons; First, they can gain more experience related to the job earlier than other competing candidates. Second, they can make better human network concerning with the field. First of all, young people who worked in a same field with their parents can learn about the work even before they work in the field. I believe that the experience is one of the most essential factors of success in this world. Imagine people only have textbook knowledge. Their view will be so narrow. (동사로 시작하는 명령문/let형태의 구어체 사용을 지양해주세요) By seeing and hearing about the work through their parents when they were young, they cannot only gain diverse experience but also broaden their horizon of the world. For example, my brother is a lawyer and my father also have worked in a law-firm as a lawyer. When my brother studied about law, my father gave advice about study. Moreover, I and my brother went to the company that my father had worked. Therefore, we could know how lawyers work on the cases better. and have a dream about the world. In this sense, young people can get more information and experience about parents` field.
Second, young people can easily gain work-related human network through their parents. The meaning of success has completely changed compared to the past. In the past, it was merely focusing on one`own way to exceed others, now it is different. Along with your own ability, it is crucial to have people who can lend you a hand when you are in trouble. For example, there was a poll conducted by the board of Korean Business Management, with 300 chief executive officers (CEO 등의 축약형은 전부 풀어서 작성해주세요) as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to understand the consensus about the method of making human relationship in today`s society. The majority of respondents ranked making human network through parents over others. An 75% overwhelming replied that they were able to meet people related to their business through their parents and got help to achieve their business goals. The survey demonstrates that young people can gain their human relationship concerning about the work and success their work if young people choose the same field with their parents,.
To sum up, working in the same field with parents helps people gain better experience about the job in depth before starting the field and create firm human network to help oneself. In this regard, I firmly hold that working in the same field that parents work is good to young people.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 각 paragraph별 reason들을 좀 더 specific하게 적어주세요. 현재 이유는 다른 주제에 사용되어도 될 정도로 다소 general합니다. |