Obviously, rules play a
significant role in children’s lives in many of the places where they study or
play. Some people think that parents should set strict rules for their children
if they want them to succeed in life, while others do not. Both sides may have
their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I
would say that strict rules help children to grow successfully. There are
several reasons as follows.
To begin with, when parents set
strict rules, it enables their children to grow a sense of responsibility.
Strict rules requires many obligations such as managing time, abiding by rules,
and respecting others. When such obligations are fulfilled, they are likely to
realize that it brings about a good result. For example, my youngest brother
used to be lazy and selfish. He has changed
little by little after my parents set the rules such as cleaning his
room, washing the dishes, and not fighting with his siblings. If he broke the
rules, he was not able to go outside home for a while. He realized that obeying
strict rules could help him improve his responsibility while his laziness could
negatively affect everyone. Naturally, he became more prompt with time, played
his part better, and even encouraged others to be more responsible. Without
this experience, he would still have been irresponsible.
In addition, strict rules help
children do better in school. With strict rules, children can fulfil their work
more productively and regularly because they are unlikely to be distracted.
When this these traits are developed,
they tend to understand the way of success in school life. For instance, my
sister did poorly in her high school. She got distracted easily, procrastinated,
and acted on impulse. However, after my parents made her a time table to plan for everyday of hers her everyday life, she showed a different aspect.
Since she did not want to lose her free time on weekends, she perfectly followed the rule. Finally, she was able to live a life
regularly a regular life and maintain a good
behavior by raising her grades in school. She showed characteristics of a
longer attention span, a stronger passion in her tasks, and a better ability to
delay gratification. If my parents did not set the rule, she would have fallen
behind.
All things considered, I strongly
believe that the advantages of setting strict rules far outweigh its advantages
for the reasons I mentioned above. All in all, the importance of strict rules
cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of success in life.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Good (24-30) |
Score |
26 |
Overall
Comment: |
Great! 작은 문법 때문에
감점을 드렸으니 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. 아쉬운 점은 본론 두 문단의 주장이 비슷하고, 예시들이 너무 자신의 지인들의 경험을 토대로
작성하셨다는 점입니다. 다른 객관적인 예시들을 활용해 주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. |
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