▶ Your Answer : Managing how high school students use their time is important because it may help students to shape lives in a better way later in a future campus. With this understanding, I believe that it is important for students to spend at least one year working before entering university. This is because it helps students to outperform in university and enjoy a better quality of life.
Firstly, allotting time for work for a year helps students to perform better in university. Understanding the relationship between courses that students will take in university and the potential role of working experience is crucial to substantiate this view. Normally, in high school, students are only devoted to academic studies aiming to have fine standardized test scores. However, it does not act as a critical factor to perform well in university because test scores and grades are just part of a minimum requirement, which serves as a tool to evaluate students whether they are qualified to study in university. However, working or internship experiences may influence them to become academically superior students in their desired university as they are more creative and have broadened perspectives from their work compared to the students who do not have working or internship experiences. Students who previously worked have to encounter various problems and tasks they have never dealt with in high school. Most university courses require students to think outside of the box as it asks about individual one's novel opinion to finish their assignments. In this respect, working before students enter the university has an effect of helping students to perform better in their future university. - 구체적으로 일하는 경험이 어떻게 학습 속 creativity에 기여할 수 있는지 내용을 보충해주세요.
Second, spending time working enables students to enjoy a better quality of life. Interestingly, a renowned social scientist in South Korea recently published an article claiming that spending time working or participating in internships help students to strengthen social competitiveness. According to the article, 62 percent of 200 Korean leading recruiters prefer people who have an experience of working or internships in high school. They show such tendency because the candidates who are equipped with real-life work experiences tend to be more flexible. In university, students usually participate in the internship related to their future profession. However, working experiences and internships in high school years are not limited to their future profession as students' dream job changes frequently. However, internships or working experiences which are not relative help students to work with great flexibility in their future jobs. In the long-run, flexible mind-set increases work performance. This due to the fact that experience from irrelevant area may lead to faster working processes compared to conventional methods. This not only lead to job promotions but also encourages students to ultimately enjoy a better quality of life for later in society.
To sum up, I believe that it is important for students to spend at least one year working for the following reasons; to perform better in university and to enjoy a better quality of life in future. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated due to the reason I have mentioned above.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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