▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is more important for teachers to teach their students well than to make students confident in themselves. However, I have an exactly opposite idea with them since helping students them obtain self-confidence would affect more positively to their overall performance at school than just giving particular information. and Also, it is hard for students to enhance their self-confidence by themselves.
To begin with, teachers helping students improve their self-confidence would encourage students to study more and better. Students who have low self-confidence usually give up and become distracted easily when studying. By helping them improve their confidence, it would motivate students to study harder and make them improve their performance at school. For example, there was a research conducted by Korean Board of Education to figure out whether self-confidence affects the performance of students. There were two groups and each consisted of 100 students observed. One group was formed of students who were asked to listen to lectures done to enhance students' self-respect with other classes for three weeks. Then, they were requested to take the test designed to evaluate students' academic achievement. The other group did not listen to the lectures and asked to answer the same questions through the test. Researchers compared compard scores of students from each group and recorded that students in the former group marked more than 10 points higher scores on average. This experiment shows that improvement of self-confidence could improve students learning ability as well. 앞서 설명한 내용처럼 자신감을 갖게 돼서 공부시간도 많고 더 열심히 해서 성적이 높았다는 연결고리(연구자들의 분석)를 사례에서 보여주면 좋을 것 같아요. 단순히 자신감을 높여주는 강의를 들었더니 시험을 잘 봤다는 연결은 조금 어색할 수 있습니다.
On top of that, it is almost impossible for students to enhance their self-confidence by themselves, so teachers should help them out. Thanks to the development of the Internet and computers, it became easier for students to find information or learn something using them. In contrast, it is hard for students to try to be more confident in themselves by their own efforts. Teachers should help students do what they have difficulties doing by themselves. I would like to give an example of myself to elucidate my points. When I was a middle school student, I severely severly lacked self-respect. I tried to find good lectures or reading materials on the Internet, but I could not find one which could help me to do so. As I realized that it was is hard for me to go through by myself, I asked for some help to one of the teachers in our school. After listening to my worries, she gave me a lot of help by having a lot of conversation with me, reading books together and giving plentiful advice to me. In less than a week, I felt like I became more confident in myself. My experience shows that it is very important for teachers to instill their students with self-confidence as students nearly cannot do it by themselves.
To sum up, teachers helping their students restore self-confidence would help them improve their school achievement and can solve their problems lacking it which they had difficulties dealing with themselves. In this regard, I firmly believe that it is more important for teachers to try to help their students become respectful of themselves than to give particular information to them.
Comment : 주제에 맞게 답안을 잘 제시해주셨습니다. 본론2에서 학생이 혼자서 할 수 없다는 점만으로는 '교사가 정보전달보다 더 초점을 둬야 하는 이유'를 보여주기 애매한 부분들이 있으니 교사가 학생들의 자신감을 높이는 데 신경써야 하는 이유가 되게끔 흐름을 더 보완해보시면 좋을 것 같다는 생각도 들어요. 오탈자 실수도 꼼꼼하게 봐주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임) |