▶ Your Answer :
Humans has changed over time. They became taller, faster, older, and fatter. In the
beginning, they all had similar cultures, convention, and idealism. However,
they evolved to have diverse cultures and practices. As time went by, every
individual started to have different opinions and formed diverse backgrounds.
Now anyone can be unique; people can pursue any ideal values in the contemporary society.
Therefore, deciding what is better between spending time with many friends and having just a few close
friends can bring different results among various individuals. have varieties of points of view. However, based on my cultural backgrounds,
I would choose the second one. First, having a time with just few close friends is
more comfortable psychologically than spending time with many friends. Second, if
people spend time with many friends, it is hard to set schedule with one another. - 콩글리시 표현 (한국어 문법 순) 들이 일부 있습니다.
To
begin with, people can feel more comfortable when they pass a time with only a
few close friends than when they spend time with many friends. When people hang out in a big group, there may be some of them who they dislike or uncomfortable. If this happens,
they would not want to get along with (play는 아동들 위주로 사용) them even though there are friends whom they
like. (작은 그룹으로 활동하는 것이 왜 comfortable한지에 대해 더욱 부각해주세요) For example, when I was a little child, (little child 보다는 구체적인 연령을 표기하는 것이 더 좋습니다) I played with many friends. There were
two friends who hate one another, and a quarrel arouse between them eventually (부사는 가급적 문장 마지막에 작성해주세요). Although
some of the rest stopped a fight, it was fruitless. In the end, all of us went
back home in a bad mood. On the contrary, when I had a time with close
friends, I was more relaxed because the fight did not occur between us.
It had such a huge influence on me that I believe having a time with just a few
close friends is the best way to play friends.
In
addition, when people hang out/get along with many people, it is hard to set a date of
appointment. The more people they gather to meet with another, the more
difficult it is to set a time to meet all at once since everyone has different schedules. (~때문에 한꺼번에 만나기 힘듬을 명시해주세요; 예 - 각자의 스케줄 때문) For example, when I meet friends, I usually meet with my other six friends altogether. play with a total of seven friends including myself. I do not think seven people can put their schedule easily to certain dates for meeting . Thus, every time we promise to meet, we
have difficulty setting up a date and can only meet with each other once a few months. However,
if I make an appointment to meet only a few friends, we can easily determine a
time which we will meet since it is easier to arrange schedules with small number of people. As a result, we can meet more often. From our
experience, one can infer that having a time with small number of close friends
is more convenient to adjust schedule properly than spending time with many
friends.
After
the rationale, the essay reached a conclusion. In the end, a point of view
which I have offered should not be underestimated because I explained having some time with just a few close friends is more comfortable psychologically than spending time
with many friends. Also, if people spend time with many friends, it is hard to set
schedule each other. They are all valid points to behold. Therefore, the
postmodernist societies should gravitate toward my opinion.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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