▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is more important for teachers to
be experts in their fields than to connect with students. However, in my
opinion, I strongly agree with this statement for the following two reasons. First,
good connection with students can enhance the quality of class. Second, strong
bond with students can motivate them to study. >space
First, good connection with students can enhance the quality
of class. If teachers build a relationship with students well, students can easily
express their opinion about the class in a good way. This is because close
relationship decreases the uncomfortable feeling about expressing the personal
opinion. 수업에 대해 학생들이 의견을 개진하는 게 어떻게 수업의 질을 높이는지 좀 더 구체적으로 보여주는 설명을 보완해주세요. For example, when I was a student, I was a leader of my class. So I
had a responsibility of communicating between students and teachers. And fFortunately,
I had a good relationship with the teacher who was in charge of charged our class. Because she tried
to be a good friend rather than a strict teacher, . Also she told said to me that I did not have to do not
hesitate to express the personal opinion to her. So it was easy to communicate
with the teacher about the opinion on what we wanted to should try or change something for our
class. Thanks to her, the satisfaction of our class was the best among the
entire classes. >space
Second, strong bond with students can motivate them to study.
This is because students study more when they want to be recognized by their
teacher. 이 부분도 교사와의 좋은 관계가 어떻게 학생들에게 학습 동기가 되어주는지를 더 구체적으로 설명해주세요. For example, as I mentioned,that I had a good relationship with my
teacher. Therefore I wanted to be recognized by her not only for my leadership but also for good grades. So I studied much harder than I had usually done before. did. And if I had a
question, I could ask her easily due to our close relationship. As a result, I
got the highest grade in my class and she was very pleased about that. >space
To sum up, making a good relationship with students is good
for enhancing the quality of class as well as motivating students in a good
way. In this regard, I personally disagree that it is more important for
teachers to be experts in their fields than to connect with students.
Comment : 주제에 대한 답변으로 활용하기에 좋은 답안을 잘 생각해주신 것 같아요. 현재 잡아두신 틀에서 구체적인 설명들을 보완하는 형태로 답안을 발전시킨다면 더 높은 점수대의 글이 될 수 있을 것으로 보입니다. 나의 주장이 논리적으로 잘 전달될 수 있도록 구체적인 설명들을 더 보완해주세요. 어색한 표현들이나 문법오류들도 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음) - May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함)
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