▶ Your Answer : Some people think that moving to a new region makes people lose their old friends. However, in my opinion, it is not a bad idea to move to a new city or country for the following two reasons. First of all, people can make new friends in the new area. In addition, people can meet their old friends if they form a plan meticulously. To begin with, people will be able to make new friends after moving to another place. People usually have a lot of concerns when they move to a new city or country because they do not have any friends there. However, these worries will can be dealt with by making new friends in the new region. For example, according to the a survey conducted by UCLA’s research department, about 80 percent of participants reported that they were frustrated after moving to a new area because they did not know anyone in the new area. However, they were able to overcome their bad condition by making new friends. They also mentioned that it was not difficult to make new friends since a lot of neighbors welcomed them and made a strong effort to have many talks with them. Thus, they did not feel sad or depressed anymore and did so many things with new friends such as watching a movie or having meals together. Consequently, it is evident that it is not bad to move to a the new area because people can meet new neighbors.
On top of that, people can meet their old friends anytime whenever they want after moving in. Friendship lasts even if they cannot see each other for awhile, since it is not easily broken. Thus, they do not have to worry about their friendship. For instance, when I was in high school, my old friend moved to Japan. I thought that I would never see her again, but she came to Korea to meet her friends at least twice a year. She said that she had to make meticulous plans before visiting Korea because she was too busy with her work. Even though she was busy, she wanted to see her friends and visited Korea when she wanted. With her effort, we still sometimes have a gathering at my house. As a result, it turns out that people do not have to feel sad about moving to another region, since they still can meet their friends. To sum up, even though they move to other area, people they can make new friends there and still can see their old friends too. In this regard, I believe that it is not a bad idea to move to a new city or country.
Comment : 주제에 맞게 답안을 잘 작성해주셨습니다. 오탈자와 어색한 표현들 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요~ 논리 진행 부분은 두 문단 모두 좋습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4.5/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임) |