▶ Your Answer : It is of great worth to discuss whether or not people should be able to take criticism from other members in order to succeed in a group project. The answer to this question can vary depending on each individual's perspective. As I As far as I am concerned, I agree with the given statement because it can save time and it makes make people insist their own opinions. First of all, taking criticism from others can be helpful. It is obvious that by saying my opinion about your suggestion, you can know your faults. And we can talk about better ideas. So, it can save time in a group project. It is important to save time in a group project. To be specific, when you waste time by talking about bad ideas, does time wait for you? The answer would be no. Since you cannot turn time back, we must save as much time as we can possible. For instance, I give my own example. When I was a high school student, I had to do a team project where I suggested my idea strongly. However, our project could not gain a good outcome. Later, one of the team members said that she didn't did not agree with my idea, but she could not make criticism to me because I insisted my opinion strongly. Had she made criticism to me, I would have gained a good outcome. Second, people can insist their opinions more freely when they have a discussion. This is because people can develop their perspectives by attaining other people's opinions. Broadening their perspectives can be helpful to come up with ideas and suggest their opinions. If people don't do not get any others saying, people can have so narrow perspective when dealing with trouble. For instance, a study conducted by ABN, one of the most renowned research centers in South Korea, is a good example. The researchers tracked the lifestyle of 200 students in the university over a one-year period in order to find out their perspectives when they have various discussions. What they found was intriguing. Students who have diverse discussions tend to have more a wide variety of perspectives than those who rarely did. The findings showed that people can develop by taking criticism. To summarize what I mentioned above, I am for the notion that people had better should better to take criticism from group members since they can do project more quickly and people become active in a team project. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 첫 번째 바디나 두 번째 바디 둘다 논리적으로 잘 풀어나갔습니다. 하지만 근본적인 문제는 두 바디 다 장황하다는 느낌이 듭니다. 예시나 설명들이 맥락없이 풀어져 나갔다고 느꼈습니다. 장황하게 에세이를 서술하시는 것보다 간결하게 본인의 아이디어를 제시할 수 있는 방법을 터득하는 것이 가장 중요한 거 같습니다. 장황한 에세이는 전체적인 플로우를 방해합니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |