▶ Your Answer : Some people believe that it is the best way to understand a country by visiting museums. However, in my opinion, watching the country-made films (오류가 보입니다 이에세이는 그 나라에 정보를 얻는 것이 더 좋다라는 거지 영화에 대한 에세이가 아닙니다) is a better way to get information about the country rather than to go to museums for two reasons. First, movies usually show living styles and behaviors of the country. Also, they contain lines spoken by the country's language. First of all, the movies made in a country shows show people's lives in the country. Usually behaviors and attitudes of people contain a lot of information such as their values and culture. While museums just show materials which show depicting external factors of their culture particularly of in particular the past, movies can tell us about their internal factes facet of it. I would like to give an example of myself to elucidate my points. When I was a middle school student, I had a trip to Europe with my family. We visited several famous museums in Europe and enjoyed appreciating their exhibition. However, I felt like I could not get information more than mere datas data (data는 셀 수 없는 명사입니다) about those shown in the displays such as when they were made or who made them. On the other hands, when I saw a movie made in England, I could experience the culture of England indirectly by viewing characters living their lives. This experience has surely shown that movie is a good way to understand a country by giving detailed information about the country. 본인이 영화를 중점을 하셨지만 이 에세이의 긍국적인 주제는 각 나라에서 정보를 얻는 것이 더 좋냐 입니다. 영화를 통해서 정보를 얻는 다라는 것이 아닙니다. 이 에세이는 영화와 박물관의 차이점에 대한 설명을 보는 에세이가 아닙니다. On top of that, people in movies speak in their own languages. Language gives a significant amount of information about their speakers and the country. Also, language changes as time goes by and reflects recent flow of the country's culture. In contrast, information given by museums is usually confined to that of the past. For instance, there was a poll conducted by Korean Statistics Office with 100 people as respondents to figure out the consensus view of people whether they think language is important in understanding the country. An overwhelming 89% of people responded that it is as it shows both the present and the past of the country. 일단 비록 주제를 벗어나기는 했지만 전반적으로 매끄럽게 에세이를 서술하셨습니다. To sum up, movies give us a lot of information about the country by characters' behaviors and lines. In this regard, I firmly believe that visiting museums is not a best way to understand the country, rather viewing movies of the country is better. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 전반적으로 아주 논리있게 에세이를 서술하셨습니다. 하지만 이 에세이에서 가장 중요한 오류는 주제와 어긋나는 에세이를 서술하셨다는 것입니다. 이 에세이의 주제는 각 나라에서 정보를 얻는 것이 박물관에 가는 것 보다 나은가에 대한 거지 그 나라에 관한 영화를 보는 것이 중요한 가 에대한 에세이가 아닙니다. 따라서 좀 더 에세이의 주제를 초점에 맞춰서 서술하면 더 좋은 에세에기가 될거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |