▶ Your Answer : Some people probably think that people will continue to use on reading printed books. However, in my opinion, printed books would disappear in near future. There are two reasons. First, e-book is more efficient and convenient. Also, it is possible for getting information and knowledge without printed books.
To begin with, people are in favor of more convenience in contemporary society, so usage of electronic devices is increasing even when they are reading books. To be specific, people it does do not need to carry thick and many books. People can enjoy reading whenever they want with their thin portable devices, and this is the greatest merit for modern people. One of my friends is a good example of this. When he was a freshman in university, he always had to carry his heavy major books and most of his books were over 500 pages. At the end of semester, he suffered from backache and rarely came to the library. When he was senior, some professors began to recommend to use teach using e-book. It was quite effective for my friend to study, and he got the best grade that year. 공부하기에 편리해서 성적을 잘 받았다는 연결이 좀 비약적인 것 같아요. 그냥 많은 책들을 들고 다닐 필요가 없어져서 몸도 편해지고 공부도 더 효율적으로 하게 됐다는 연결이 더 자연스러워보입니다. 또한 단순히 e-book이 더 편리하다는 점만 증명하기보다는 그래서 가까운 미래에 종이책이 없어질 것이라고 전망하는 나의 입장과 연결할 수 있어야 하므로 내용 보완이 필요합니다.
On top of that, people can search and get what kind of information they want through the internet or television. By brief searching on the internet, free and a lot of information is given to people for free. Especially, modern people tend to enjoy reading news on the internet rather than reading newspaper. Because of this advantage, publishing industry become rapidly decreasing. According to one survey, the amount of printed newspapers has been reduced over half percentage during for the last 5 years. 마찬가지로 주제와 연결되는 내용 보완이 더 필요합니다. 사람들이 인터넷을 통해 정보를 많이 얻는다는 설명만으로는 '종이책'의 사용이 없어질 것이라는 전망과 연결하기 어렵습니다. 종이책이 '없어도' 되는 환경에 더 초점을 맞춰서 내용을 풀어주세요.
To sum up, reading books by using electronic devices is more convenient. Moreover, people can get knowledge without printed books. In this regard, people will no longer make use of printed books in 20 years.
Comment : 두 본론의 내용 모두 주제에 대한 답변으로 사용하기에 좋은 내용들입니다. 다만 아직 주제와 연결되는 부분들이 부족해서 논점에 맞지 않는 것처럼 보이는 부분들이 있어 아쉽습니다. 내용을 더 보완해서 '종이책을 사용하지 않을 것이라는 전망'과 더 밀접한 연관성을 보여줄 수 있도록 발전시켜보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음) - May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함) |