▶ Your Answer : Some people think that it is a better for students to take a long vacation once a year. However, I believe that several brief vacations are far much better for a couple of reasons. This is because several brief vacations enable them to relieve stress while long vacation can put them under stress.
Firstly, a long vacation can prevent people from enjoying a better quality of life by putting them under stress. In response to the increasing importance of enacting academic vacation terms, (What does it mean?) many expert opinions and research statistics reinforce the idea that spending too many times (On what?)at once for during the vacation can put students under stress. For example, there was a research which conducted by kyungpook national educational university. The researchers separated students into three groups. One was spending their vacation time once a year and the others had were devided their vacation time at three and four terms with a short break in an academic year times. After that, their stress hormone level were investigated. The results were attractive non-separated vacation time groups stress hormone level was improved (Why?) and the other groups stress hormone levels were decreased. This example demonstrates some of the disadvantages of long vacation oncea year.
On the other hand. several brief vacations enable people to relieve stress. Understanding the daily environment (Class? Do you mean?) of students and the potential role of several brief vacations is necessary to substantiate this view. Every morning, students have to patiently sit through traffic to get to school. Once they are at school, they have to endure countless textbooks and continue to read more even at home. Such exhausting routine repeats itself and eventually wears down students. As a way to manage the ensuing stress, students can enjoy their vacation by dividing to several brief vacations.
Even if it is only for a short time, this frees minds from the intense mental pressure from school. In this regard, several brief vacations enable students to relieve stress.
To sum up, I believe that several brief vacations are is better than a long vacation once a year. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I have mentioned above.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 15-18 |
- adjective, better앞에는 a/the를 쓰지 않고, 뒤에 명사가 붙을 때만 경우에 따라 쓰입니다.
- 두 가지 이유모두 stress라는 관점에서 적혀있으나 구체적으로 어떤 것 때문에 stress를 받는지에 대해서는 나와있지 않습니다. - 두 번째 이유는 대부분 템플릿으로 구성되어 있네요. 좋은 점수를 받기위해서는 자신의 아이디어를 보다 많이 제시해주셔야합니다.
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