▶ Your Answer :
There is currently a debate about whether
all students should be required to take history courses. Perhaps the history
class is unpractical, but I prefer that taking the history courses. And there
are for the following two reasons; taking history courses give a motivation to students and, helping to develop multiple skills in their life.
For starters/ To begin with To start the argument, taking history courses
motivates students and stimulates problem solving skills by motivating students their resolving about the problem in their
life. To be specific, In providing an essential reason, taking history courses makes students
to improve their intelligence that they have overlooked. Moreover, people are
encouraged to study harder after they feel comfortable with the environment
that they are in. For example, most students today are easily losing motivation.
They since they cannot find pleasure when they study or work. However, if they take
history courses, they will definitely be motivated by it and will have more fun
when studying. This is because, in the past, there were many people on the same
situation with them. And, they resolved that situation, students can learn many
things from their solution. As a result, the quality of their studying will improve,
and they will be satisfied with the results of their life.
Second, taking history class helps
individuals to gain useful knowledge. This is because gaining history knowledge
can have other knowledge such as literary, architecture, music. In supporting To support my view, according to a recent poll conducted at the Seoul national university,
78 percent of participants claimed that teenagers usually gain several
abilities such as literary, architecture, music when they take the history
courses because history is related to different many abilities. (Need evidence for that) The researchers explained
to fit the needs of their own business, workplace, or life. (Wrong sentence, Explain what things?) Therefore, they
could deal with unexpected problems by contributing their experience and
talents. (This is more appropriate explanation for the first thesis) It would all eventually help them to get a job in their future.
Evidently, taking history courses delivers an abundant setting to enhance their
multiple skills.
In common purpose, I cannot stress enough conclude that
taking history courses because that gives a motivation in their students' life and helps
gaining multiple skills. Opinions may differ from people, but the thing remaining unchanged what does not
change is that this topic is something that needs to be addressed.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 15-18 | - 문장을 규칙이 벗어난 형태에서 만들어내지 않도록 해주세요.
- formal essay에서는 대체적으로 일률적인 양식이 있습니다. - 첫 번째 주장인 problem solving에 포커스를 맞춰주세요, pleasure, fun등은 관련이 없는 예시 입니다. - 두 번째는 history가 diverse abilities 와 관련있다는 점을 근거하셔야 합니다.
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