▶ Your Answer :
In the
reading passage, there are 3 different thoeries that suggest the function of
the clay disc. But professor says that those theories are not logically
possible. First theory suggests that clay disc might have been used as utensil.
However, in the case of the newly unearthed disc, there was no burn or stains
which is common in other untensils. It's mean that clay disc is unlikely to be
used for cooking.
Second
theory claims that disc was instrument. After mention that professor points out
that instrument theory has serious limitation. Because of the weakness of the
clay, if clay disc was used as a drum, it would have been keep breaking down by
repeating beats. Instead, professor suggests that wood must be better option
for ancient people.
Saying the fact that
flat part of the disc was not decorated, third theory guesses that flat part of
disc might be once covered by copper which means that disc could be used as a
mirror. However professor claims that if it was used as a mirror and hang on
the wall vertically, ancient people would not carve any decoration on the back
side of the disc. Also he mentions the another way of making mirror which was
popular in that century. So, he rejected the 3 theories about the usage of clay
disc.
혼자 읽으면서 수정해보았는데, 앞으로도 이런 식으로 쓰면 고득점을 받을 수 있을까요? 공부하는 방향이 이게 맞나 궁금해서 자체 첨삭도 올려봅니다.
In the
reading passage, there are 3 different thoeries theories
that suggest the function of the clay disc. But professor says that
those theories are not logically possible. First theory suggests that clay disc
might have been used as utensil. However, in the case of the newly unearthed
disc, there was no burn or stains which is common in other untensils.
It's mean that clay disc is unlikely to be used for cooking.
Second
theory claims that disc was instrument which is supported by sound producing
hollow in the disc. After mention that theory ,however, professor points out that instrument theory
has serious limitation. Because of the weakness of the clay, if clay disc was
used as a drum, it would have been keep breaking down by repeating beats.
Instead, professor suggests that wood must be the
better option for ancient people.
Saying
the fact that flat part of the disc was not decorated, third theory guesses
that flat part of disc might be once covered by copper which means that disc
could be used as a mirror. However professor argues that
there were another popular way of making mirror in that century that requires
the clay disc should be placed on the table and filled with water . claims
that if it was used as a mirror and hang on the wall vertically, If that is true, ancient people would not carve any
decoration on the back side of the disc because it is
impossible for them to held mirror vertically and appreciate the back.
Fair: 17~23 점수: 22 일단 구조적으로 도 맞지 않는 통합형 에세이입니다. 통합형 에세이에서 중요하게 보는 구조는 인트로에서 리딩과 리스닝이 이러한 부분에 대하여서 서로 비교를 하고 반박하겠다 라고 서술 한 후 각 단락에서 세 가지 이유에 대한 리딩과 리스닝의 서로 다른 견해가 무엇인지를 말하는 것이 통합형 에세이에 가장 적절한 구조 입니다. 이 구조를 참조 하시면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |