▶ Your Answer :
Sometimes
parents are blinded in the matter of their own children. Since being parents
makes them hard to be objective, this is very normal. But many parents also
fail to admit that they are not able to be objective. This can be the problem.
Because if they are so sure that they are very objective even though they are
not, parents are not gonna recieve any advise or other people's opinion about
their children. Since parents are the decision maker of their children, if they
loose ability to recieve other's perspective, children would be raised in so
biased or overprotective way.
We can
find out the many parents who overprotect their child and protest about the
teacher's policy that should be applied for every student which is very
important experience for learning the way to fit in the group or society.
Express the disproval toward teacher's policy could be problematic in the
aspect of this learing expirience.
Of course
there are tons of examples about the bad theachers who need the feed back from the parents. But it is
hard for parents to distinguish between bad teachers and their own nervousness.
So, in my opinion, in that situation, parents should act in group. By
discussing the problem in the school and teacher's policy they can regain the
objectiveness and can be assured that wheather their are overeacting or not.
In short, it is bad idea that individual parent keep expressing the
disapproval toward teacher's policy in classroom because it might be not
objective or overprotecting which could be end up with taking away their children's
learning opportunity. So, if parents think something is wrong and need to
discuss, they should held a parents meeting about that agenda and collect the
opinion of many parents. In that way, parents can remove bad teachers but also
give their children the learning experience.
Fair: 17~23 점수: 18 독립형 에세이에 전혀 맞지 않는 구조입니다. 인트로에서 결론 까지 전혀 적절치 않습니다. 보통 일반적인 독립형 에세이 구조는 인트로가 있구 바디 두 개와 결론인데. 지금 각 단락 도 그렇고 어떤게 바디가 시작 이고 무엇을 말하려고 하는지도 모호하게 에세이를 서술한 거 같습니다. 앞으로 에세이를 서술할 때는 구조적인 부분을 항상 생각 하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|