▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that hasty decisions are the main factors of the failure. However, in my opinion, able to make hasty decision is one of the great ability in modern society moreover decision made with consuming a lot of time and effort does not always deliver best consequences. (Awkward and Wrong sentence)
To begin with, making a hasty decision plays important role in the society we live. (Are you sure?) It is a powerful skill which means that you are not afraid of failure. In addition, we can not put loads of time and effort on each one since we have to make decision every time. (Meaning?) For example, my sister was working in a women’s apparel sales department. She had to make a decision to launch new brand in the department store or not and at the same time her co-worker had the same situation as my sister was. My sister made a quick decision to launch the new brand but her co-worker did a lot of analysis whether it can bring a profit or not. As a result, because my sister made a quick decision which produced more profit on women’s apparel and got promoted, but her co-worker consumed too much time on making choice, he missed the timing.
On top of that, making a decision with considerable time does not always guarantee a great effect. Modern society changes really fast, which means it is difficult to perspective with so many variables. (What does it mean?) A study was conducted by Gallup Organization to determine the number of meeting in companies is related to have high revenues. They analyzed profits of 760 global companies, making more than a trillion. The result was intriguing. The companies with less time consuming in meeting were making 5% more profits annually than the companies with a lot of meetings. (Why's that?) The study proves that making decision with considerable time and effort does not mean that it always extract positive result.
To sum up, making a hasty decision can be a excellent capability and even if people put a lot of efforts and times to produce a deliberate decision does not always guarantee good results. In this regard, I feel that making a wise decision does not not mean it is always right because making hasty decision is also one’s ability and it does bring satisfied satisfying results.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 16-18 | - Brand launching을 빨리하는 것과 meeting을 적게 가지는 것이 어떻게 profit 과 깊은 연관성이 있는지 근거를 충분히 제시해주셔야 합니다.
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