▶ Your Answer :
Some people say that television can only be used as an entertainment source. However, in my opinion, people can take advantage of a television set by learning from it for the following two reasons.
First of all, it can prevent us from wasting time to learn by television. Television is taking up takes up more and more time in our daily life. (좀 더 이유에 대한 구체적으로 설명을 하고 난 후에 예시로 넘어가는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다) According to the study conducted by Yonsei University, people watch television for 3 hours per day on weekdays. On the weekends, the amount of time they spend on watching television is even longer than that. Hence, if people use television as a learning method, it will help them save precious time. For instance, I was looking for a way to practice my English. But going to an academy was time-consuming since it took 1 hour to get to English academy by bus. So I ended up watching movies on television. I watched American movies on weekends and it helped me so much on my listening skills.
On top of that, there are a wealth of beneficial contents in television. Nowadays, a variety of television programs are available. We can learn about economy, politics and even science through lectures or documentaries. For example, my brother was so interested in biology. He wanted to spend more time on studying it. Thus, he decided to watch a documentary program from national geographic channel three times a week. My brother could get to know about different species of animals and their characteristics. It helped him a lot in understanding biological knowledge learnt from the class.
To sum up, it is time-saving and plenty of advantageous contents are disposable. All things considered, I think television should be made use of to educate people.
점수: 23 좀 더 구체적인 설명이 필요한 독립형 에세이인거 같습니다. 이 에세이를 보면 이유에 대한 구체적 설명이 없는 거 같습니다. 구체적 설명이 나와야지만 전체적으로 에세이가 무엇을 말하려고 하는 지를 알 수 있기 때문입니다. 따라서 좀 더 좋은 에세이가 되기 위해서 바로 예시로 넘어가는 것 보다는 이유에 대한 구체적 설명을 더 하게 되면 더 좋은 에세이가 될 거 같습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |