▶ Your Answer : An intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether it is important to recognize about global events. It may seem true that it is necessary for people to knowing them; however, with in-depth analysis the statements seems rather too far-fetched. Although people may hold different ideas and opinions, I personally support the idea that people do not need to learning them on account of two reasons which I am going to elaborate.
To begin with, people are already busy to subsist their life. They have a lot of things aside from learning about global events. They have to do household works, company tasks, studying, and so on. This means that there is no time to care about what is unrelated to them. For example, my friend who works in a bank has two sons. Whenever I meet her, she seems tired and she always says to me that it is hard to raise children and work simultaneously. She mentioned that she even has no leisure time.
On top of that, knowledge of global events does not offer any advantages. To be specific, although it can broader broaden their perspective, it does not provide any promotion, fame, or wealth which is valuable and useful for the majority of people. Indeed, a study recently conducted by UCLA’s research department is well aligned with this statement. According to the study, about 79 percent of participants answered that they are in favor of the idea that what happens in worldwide doesn’t affect to their life, also it is not useful to common people. Furthermore their opinions were supported with logical reasons similar to that of mine.
In a nutshell, although the importance of knowing about worldwide happenings is open to interpretation, it seems reasonable to claim that it is not very important because of the two reasons discussed in this essay. I believe I have accurately demonstrated my point of view on this matter. Since views on life and values are differ from individuals, it seems like this subject remains controversial.
예상 점수: 17-21 총평: 문법적인 오류가 너무 많습니다. 우선 to부정사를 사용하실 경우 그 뒤는 동사원형이 와야하며, 단어들을 나열할때는 그 형태가 동일해야 하므로 study가 맞고, 넓히다는 뜻으로는 broaden이 맞습니다. 또 거기에 필요한 idiom들을 많이 사용하실 필요가 있습니다. 내용은 크게 문제없습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다.
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