▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that university
students don’t need to take history courses regardless of their majors. They
believe that it is meaningless to study facts in the past. However, in my
opinion, all university students should take history courses no matter what
their major is. There are two reasons for my statement.
First of all, it can develop national
identity for students to study history. In addition, it is important to have
such identity in our widely globalized world. Without the identity, people are
likely to be confused in some situations of our world, and even become they can be
influenced negatively and have difficulty in achieving happiness. Think about
US immigrant policy in 1960s. The policy focused on an immigrant’s developing
his or her identity as an US citizen and discarding her identity as a citizen
in the home country. The policy was not successful because immigrants’
confusing identities resulted in difficulties for them to adapt to their new
country. This was because their both identities in the new country and the home
country were not established in well-balance. In this regard, a national
identity is important in one’s life and history courses can develop such identity.
Second, a history helps us understand a
country or an ethnicity. This is because the history represents a context of the
country or the ethnic. Let me introduce my personal experience as an example.
When I visited at Varanasi, India, I saw a scene that people burn a dead man
next to the river. All people around the dead man lived their daily life such
as cleaning their clothes and having a lunch even though and I was so got very scared. I
couldn’t understand why they burned the dead man, but after coming back to my
country, I investigated a history in India. I found out that a custom that
Indian burns the dead man has persisted for a long time. Also, Indian believes
that a dead man can live well in his or her after-death lives if they are
burned after death. It was really helpful for me to study a history in
understanding a country and an ethnicity.
To sum up, studying history can develop one’s
national identity, which is important value in our globalized world, and help
us understand a country and an ethnic. For these reasons, I think all university
students need to take history courses regardless of their major.
예상 점수: 21-24 총평: 아쉬운 점이 있다면 첫번째와 두번째 문단의 내용이 너무 흡사해서 확실하게 차별을 두는 모습을 보여주실 필요가 있습니다. 문법적인 부분을 지적하자면 먼저 첫번째 문단에서 접속사가 잘못되어서 동일한 연결을 해주는 접속사를 사용해주실 필요가 있습니다. 이점은 두번째 문단에서도 마찬가지 입니다. even though는 그러함에도 불구하고~라는 뜻이라 잘 맞지 않습니다. 다음으로 어휘로 ethnicity라는 단어를 숙지해주세요. 나머지는 자잘한 실수들이라 위에를 확인해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다.
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