▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, schools play a significant role in people`s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that it is the best way to improve and support schools for developing a country, school to improve the country while others do not think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that it is the best method of developing a country improve and support schools. There is a reason as follows. is to improve school for the following subsequent reasons. Above all, developing schools improves the standard of living To begin with, improving schools enhances the standard of living. It provides more fields of businesses such as education, more job positions, and higher household incomes. This trend is likely to save saves people from poverty, ultimately contributing to the overall national economic growth. For example, in the 1970s, Japan suffered from poverty and economic recession. However, the government began to invest billions of dollars in school infrastructure and increasing in the number of teachers. Eventually, this investment was able to help helped Japan decrease poverty rate as well as unemployment rate. The new job sectors gave more opportunities to work and to earn income for their household. In other words, people with little or no income emerged as the new middle class, which played a significant role in promoting the overall GDP. This implies that employment within these business sectors has brought prosperity to people. Without the investment to support schools, the economy would have been much worse off. All things considered, I strongly believe that the best policy that develop a country improve and support schools for a reason I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of improving and supporting schools cannot be overestimated in life.
점수: 22 한 단락에 너무나 많은 정보들을 넣으려고 하는 독립형 에세이입니다. 한 단락에 너무 많은 정보를 넣으려고 하다 보면 지금 이 에세이 처럼 장황하게 됩니다. 에세이가 장황하게 되면 본레 전달하려고 했던 의미들이 변질되게 됩니다. 따라서 지금 이 에세이에서 필요한 것은 좀 더 간결하게 자신의 주장을 전달하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |