▶ Your Answer :
In this essay, I will present two reasons to support my
idea; first is that it is easy to learn another language when a person is young,
and second is language skills cannot be acquired at once, so it is better to
learn it as soon as possible.
Firstly, it is easier to learn a language when one is a
child than an adult. According to a research conducted in Korea University, children
including teenagers are more capable of acquiring foreign language than people over
twenty-years-old. Both were in same environment; however, adults spent twice
minutes than the children did when memorizing vocabularies. Also, children had
no stereotypes of foreigners, so it was easier for them to approach people from
abroad – which is a great opportunity to learn and improve foreign language. Thus,
it is certain that it will be more difficult to learn another language as
children grow up, which means they should learn it as soon as possible.
Secondly, a language cannot be acquired at once, or can be
learned through hasty preparation; instead, it takes a very long time to learn
and improve particular language, and it takes even longer when a person has
fixed his or her mother tongue. This emphasizes the reason that children should
learn as soon as they start school. School has a good environment to learn
things, so it is best to learn another language in school. Also, if children
learn foreign languages from the start of education, they will have a great
fluency on the language they’ve learned, which will be beneficial for their
travel, employment and so on. Surveys targeting Korean children living in
USA concluded that the best age to learn English is when a child is 10 or 11
years old, since they can adapt to school well and acquire English easier than
any time.
전체적으로 문장도 너무 좋고, 이에 대한 이유들도 굉장히 reasonable하여서 읽기에 매우 좋은 에세이입니다. 어휘도 너무 좋고, 고칠게 없네요. 다만 conclusion이 조금 더 clearly하게 state되어 있다면 보기에 훨씬 더 깨끗한 에세이로 보일 것 같습니다. 지금은 first랑 second이유만 있고 약간 두루뭉술하게 끝나는 느낌이 약간 있는 것 같아 아쉽습니다.
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