Some people believe that the most important characteristic for a politician or a business leader is good communication ability. There are obviously many opinions regarding this topic, but I agree with the above statement for two reasons. The concepts of problem solving and improving performance in team clearly show this theme. (이미 밑에서 이유들을 다 서술할 것이기 때문에 인트로를 장황하게 서술할 필요가 없습니다)
First of all, when leader try to communicate and listen to others opinions, he or she can make better decision one can make better decision when communication is activated. This is mainly because, a person do not A person does not (person는 단수 주어 입니다) know everything and sometimes need to think with different viewpoint needs to look with different perspective. The best way to learn this ability is exchanging ideas with others by communication. For example, my father, the CEO of a IT company in Korea often had difficulties when he need to make a contract with a company in different business field from his, such as education. However, after he started to sharing share his ideas with his employees from diverse background, he could reduce making a mistake.
On top of that, when leader is good at communication, it can promote work environment and bring better result in workplace the better work environment brings about the better result in work performance. This is due to the fact that, if If (this is due to the fact~같은 표현은 독립형 에세이에서 적절하지 않습니다) there is good communication between leader and group members, members can feel they are respected. Such feeling can encourage people to have more sense of responsibility and work hard. For instance, last summer my sister had an internship in local restaurant, and she realized that her break time was too short. She was worried about discussing this issue with her boss, but her boss was open to talk any kind of issues about restaurant. As a result, she could have more time to recharge and put in more effort to work.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the communication skill is more important than any other characteristic for leaders. The example of decision making and workers productivity support the argument.
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일단 지금 이 에세이는 전반적으로 어색한 표현들이 많습니다. 이러한 어색한 표현들은 에세이 플로우로 하여금 방해를 줍니다. 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지에 대한 방해를 주기 때문에 제가 지적한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 다행히도 지금 이 에세이는 이러한 어색한 표현 이외에는 자신의 주장을 잘 보여주는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.