▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that it is okay for children between the ages of three and eight to watch TV because it is funny. Contrary to popular belief, I think children should not watch TV for the following two reasons. First, watching TV has negative effects on children. Second, children need to do other activities rather than watch TV.
To begin with, children are susceptible to get bad influence from watching TV. Since children absorb nearly everything they see or hear, the fact that many commercials which are based on materialism can be harmful to them is so dangerous. Also, if children eager to buy many toys or a lot of snack, parents would feel burdened. For example, there was a survey conducted by a group of education majors, with 200 parents. The purpose of the survey was to understand their thoughts about children watching TV before the age of 9. An overwhelming 60% replied that after watching TV commercials, their children became more greedy to buy things they want and sometimes show off what they got to their friends. This survey shows that TV commercials have more negative impacts to children.
On top of that, it is beneficial for children to do other things during the time they watch TV commercials. Between the age of three and eight, physical exercise is crucial for their growth. They can learn a sense of responsibility and how to cooperate with others through physical activities. However, watching TV commercials makes children less creative and imaginative. For example, I will talk about myself and my older brother to elucidate my point. In case of myself, when I was younger, I used to spend time watching TV commercials without thinking anything. I did not want to move my body. Unlike my case, my older brother always played soccer and baseball with his friends when he has free time. He never spent time sitting down in front of TV and watching it. Now, he hardly catches cold during the cold winter and is always energetic. Also, he usually got good grades on exams. On the other hand, I always suffer from bad cold in the winter and spend a lot of time trying to maintain health.
In conclusion, TV commercials has only bad influence to children. Also, children need to do other activities like exercising or playing with their friends during the time they used to spend watching TV commercials. In conclusion, I firmly believe that it is not helpful for the children between the age of three and eight to watch TV commercials.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 4 | Score | Good 23-26 | - susceptible to 다음은 to 부정사가 아닌 to +명사 형태입니다. - 상당히 흥미로운 예시네요! 잘쓰셨습니다.
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