▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether it is better to solve problems based on one’s experience and knowledge rather than get advice from older people. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different relying on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that solving problems based on experience is more beneficial for the following reasons. First of all, people can broaden their perspectives by solving problems based on their own knowledge or experience. In an attempt to deal with problems, one must go through different kind of experience whether it they seem reckless to others. These experiences allow people to better understand other culture, lifestyles and perspective. As modern society is becoming increasingly globalized, today’s world requires people with international views. For example, Steven Jobs who is a founder of Apple, made great accomplishment in his lifetime. I read online that he was very successful because he was global-minded and culturally sensitive. He did this by resolving the problems only himself.
In addition, nowadays people live in fast-changing world and so many problems arise. People should handle the problems themselves. To survive in this world of endless competition, people ought to control their problems flexibly. In the case of promotion, everyone is aware that getting a promotion before others is like a camel passing through the eye of a needle nowadays. One’s ability can be clouded by other’s abilities so in order to stand out, a person must resolve their problems themselves. For instance, my uncle changed his jobs many times. He was a waiter, barista, bartender and now he is a hairstylist. Some people said he cannot succeed but he has a lot of loyal customers since he knows about customer’s everything.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that solving the problems based on one's experience and knowledge is better than get advice from older people. All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget this issue may have a huge impact on our future.
Good (24-30)
첫번째 본문 -수 일치; 복수이므로 they로 받아주세요 -수 일치 these 이므로 experiences -철자 오류 Steve Jobs 입니다. -명사 앞에 관사 결론 -토픽에 연결해서 본인 주장을 써주시는 것이 좋습니다. 서론/결론에서는 특히나 강조해주세요.
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