▶ Your Answer :
Some people say that the fact that food is easier to prepare today, has improved the quality of people's lives. (주제 문장 그대로 copy하지 마시고 paraphrase 해 주세요) I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons. That is, easier food preparation enables people to have more free time, and it is efficient in that people can work at their most specified area.
First of all, easier process of food preparation can give people more free time. Instead of spending time handling dirty carrots and raw meat loaf, people can easily buy cleaned carrots and packed bacons from a supermarket. Therefore, they can save time and spend more time on doing hobbies or getting familiar with other family members. For example, my mother prepared dishes for her family for her entire life before. Now, she can have hobbies like calligraphy and drawing, thanks to the advent of supermarket and packed foods. Before, it was hard and time-consuming to make foods because she had to prepare all the ingredients. However, in these days, there are plenty of cleaned and packed ingredients in the supermarket, and all she have to do is buying them and putting them straight to the pot. Since she does not have to spend all time in cooking, she can enjoy hobbies and thus, she feels that her quality of life has improved a lot. (GOOD)
On top of that, it became easier to prepare food is more efficient, in that people do not have to involve themselves in activities that they are not specialized in. Today, people that are not interested in food industry can stay away from it, doing other works they are good at. It is a division of labor and efficiency enables more production, which in turn improves the overall quality of people's lives. ==> 주장에 대한 논리가 충분히 설명되지 않았으며 이에 대한 예시 또한 제시되어 있지 않습니다. 1번째 문단을 참고하여 구조를 잘 정리한 뒤 주장을 설명해주세요.
To sum up, easier food preparation process today gives people more free time and makes the world more efficient. In this regard, I agree to the argument that the fact that food is easier to prepare today has improved the quality of people's lives.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
|
ORGANIZATION
|
PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
|
LANGUAGE USE
|
GRAMMAR
|
FAIR-GOOD
|
GOOD
|
FAIR-GOOD
|
FAIR-GOOD
|
GOOD
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
|