▶ Your Answer :
A substantial number of people think that modern citizens are more pleasant and satisfied than citizens were in the old days. However, in my opinion, people are less happy and satisfied today than people were in the past. This is because modern society is more complicated as well as competitive than ever before. (State two reasons if you'd like to show two thesis in the following essay)
To begin with, the society in the past was not as complex as the modern society. (So that?) This is due to the fact that the modern society is becoming developed and producing produces cutting-edge products fast, and trend is changing sorapidly so that people are needed to care about it every time. That is, to adapt to frequently changing society, people have a great diversity of tasks to fulfill. (Sentence doesn't clearly make sense) To be specific, they should always check the current trend and learn how to use the latest machines and pc tools by themselves. This tendency gives modern people a bunch of burden. For instance, when my father was a freshman, the range of his work was somewhat narrow and limited, and he only used two pc tools in the office. However, as the technology developed quite fast, he had to learn a variety of newest pc tools for sophisticated works. Also, he had to figure out frequently varying world trend regarding for his work every week. Overall, the range of his work became wider than that in his first year, and it made him less pleasant and satisfied than before. As this example demonstrates, the complexity of the modern society gives a bunch of stress to the modern people.
On top of that, today’s society is more competitive than ever before. The rationale behind this is that a large number of people compete with each other for advantageous positions during their lifetime. What I mean is that, almost all the people want to enter better school and company that the number of positions is quite limited, and it gives people a critical burden. On the other hand, the society in the past was not as competitive as society nowadays, and people in the past just lived doing what their parents did before. Plus, they did not want to challenge and compete with others, and most of them were satisfied with their current positions. According to the survey conducted by Seoul National University in 2015, approximately 89% of 1,000 respondents answered that they’ve got a lot of stress when preparing for college exam entering the university, and that they were sick of competition. Also, a large number of the respondents mentioned that their studied hard just to fulfill their parent’s satisfactions. This implies that a large number of people suffer from heavy competition in current society.
To sum up, modern society is more intricate and highly competitive than the society in the past. In this regard, I strongly agree with the statement that people are less happy and satisfied today than people were in the past. 채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | Score | Good 20-23 | - 그저 과거가 complex 하지 않은 체계였다. 라고 언급하는 것은 thesis가 아닙니다. 자신의 주장을 담으셔야 합니다.
- 이유가 두 가지일 경우에는 반드시 인트로에 두 가지 모두 서술해주셔야 합니다.
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