■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : 혼잡한 도로를 사용하는 운전자들에게 요금을 물어야 한다. |
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▶ Your Answer :
People’s intellectual, social, and
personal development are highly influenced by government’s policies. With this
understanding, I believe that allowing people to choose their route which they
use is better than charging for congestion when they drive in areas with heavy
traffic. This is because choosing their route which they use enables our
government to alleviate imbalance of wealth and people to enjoy a better
quality of life. (문장 첫 시작은 항상 capital letter로 해주세요.)
Giving the options from which people want to
choose as their routes enables government to solve the traffic jam and people
to manage their time or money. According to recent budgets which government revealed,
those budgets embrace managing the traffic system. Considering the importance
of how government manages routes economically, well- organized traffic system is
necessary to be enhanced (수동태).
Well – organized traffic system
ultimately allows people to save time or money. For example, there are a lot of
different situations among people. The rich may want to sue the fast routes
although it costs so much. Since (DON'T start a sentence with the word 'because') it is cost-efficient because they could earn
more money at the same time unless they spend their time in heavy routes. It means that we get a lot of taxes from the rich but the rich also are satisfied
with these options. Of course, many people have doubt on why other
people don’t have enough money. I believe that if their tasks are more valuable
than the cost when they use the premium routes, they use them. The revenues from
the rich’s fee are used for them. As a result, people can enjoy a better
quality of life by receiving more benefits.
What I mean is that introducing the new
polices to choose their routes for using fees ultimately enables government to
alleviate the imbalance of wealth and people to enjoy a better quality of life. (NOT NECESSARY - 필요 없는 문단이에요.)
To sum up, I firmly believe that giving the options from which they want to choose is beneficial for following reasons: enabling
government to solve the traffic jam problems and people to enjoy a better
quality of life. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be
underestimated for the reasons I have mentioned above. |
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점수: 22/30
문장의 첫 시작은 항상 대문자로 해주세요.
문장 대부분이 소문자로 시작을 하고 있습니다!
그리고 government가 어떻게 traffic jam을 푸는지에 대한 언급이 거의 없습니다.
task and time 분량을 줄이시고 government 얘기를 더 하시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
문법은 대체적으로 깔끔한 편이니 첨삭해드린 것만 수정해주시면 문제 없을 듯 합니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*