▶ Your Answer :
The lecturer argues that treating drinking water with fluoride can be detrimental to health. This contradicts the reading passage’s claim that adding fluoride improves Americans’ dental health and bone structure.
First of all, the speaker argues that adding fluoride to drinking water to protect our teeth is unnecessary. The speaker explains that people already use fluoride in toothpaste. This casts doubt on the reading which states that studies show fluoride can help avoid getting cavities. 불소가 효과가 있다-없다로 반박하는 것이 아니므로 현재 reading 내용은 연결이 어색합니다. reading 내용이 '마시는 물에 불소를 첨가하는 것'에 대한 주장이 되도록 정리해주세요.
In addition, according to the speaker, there are some harmful side effects to people in adding fluoride to water. The speaker maintains that fluoride is toxin chemical, so they have components dissolving water pipe. '물의 깨끗한 정도'에 대해 대립하는 부분이므로 lecture의 반박도 수질에 영향을 준다는 점에 초점을 두고 정리되어야 자연스러울 것 같아요. 지문 내용 다시 확인해주세요. This rebuffs the reading passage’s assertion that treating water with fluoride makes it much purer than that untreated one.
The final point made by the lecturer is that fluoride can cause disease. The speaker says that the chemical matter can develop some rare types of bone cancer and make some people’s bone weak. This refutes the reading passage’s argument that fluoride strengthens people’s bone structures.
Comment :
대체로 두 지문이 어떤 포인트를 중심으로 대립하는지와 반박을 위해 lecture가 사용한 요소들을 잘 파악하신 것 같아요. 핵심 내용이 부정확해보이거나 연결이 부자연스러운 부분들이 있어 체크해두었으니 이 부분들 위주로 다시 점검해보시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 실제 지문에서 각 지문이 어떤 주장으로 자신의 입장을 뒷받침하는지, 어떤 근거로 lecture가 반박하는지를 체크해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 A response at this level contains some important information from the lecture and conveys some relevant connection to the reading, but it is marked by one or more of the following : - Although the overall response is definitely oriented to the task, it conveys only vague, global, unclear, or somewhat imprecise connection of the points made in the lecture to points made in the reading. - The response may omit one major key point made in the lecture. - Some key points made in the lecture or the reading, or connections between the two, may be incomplete, inaccurate, or imprecise. - Errors of usage and/or grammar may be more frequent or may result in noticeably vague expressions or obscured meanings in conveying ideas and connections. |