▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that it is less important for governments to invest money on improve improving Internet access than to improve public transit enhancing public transportation. However, in my opinion, It is more crucial for governments to funding fund to change to on high-speed Internet access than to improve public transportation. One reason is that Internet access can make intensively development of a country’s economy. Another reason is that it is possible for them to save a lot of time and money in the long run.
To begin with, managing Internet access can lead countries to quite much development of economy can lead to country's economic development. When Internet access increases, Information Technology(IT) businesses can be improved and activated. This improvement is responsible for economic growth as additional values increase. In fact, controlling public transportation to improve cannot make sure high additional values. For example, San Jose in the United States, especially bay area has been growing grown economic wealth, as IT industry grows up. Later on, public transportation have been better naturally compared to the past. However, in the Philippines, a country located in south-east asia, do does not have convenient public transportation but they have improved it first even though their Internet access quite sucks. As a result people, especially the tourists, never know the best public transportation that they have to take for their traveling. This implies that Internet access is more momentous than the latter. Without it, the investment of public transportation has no meaning.
On top of that, spending more money on Internet access can save a lot of time and money in the long run. Meliorating Internet access should be prioritized. Imagine that a country has convenient public transportation without well-organized Internet access. Would it be possible for them to find information easily? The answer will be no. Other than that, it is better to have fast Internet access and utilize existed public transportation properly.
To sum up, spending money on improving Internet access can make lucrative economic growth. Furthermore, well-developed Internet access is able to save much money and time. For these reasons, I believe that it is more vital for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to ameliorate public transit. Fair:17~23 점수: 23 일단 전체적으로 논리적으로 매끄럽지가 않다라는 느낌이 듭니다. 각 바디의 예시들도 정확하게 이유를 설명하는 것 같지가 않고요. 특히 첫 번째 바디에선 정확하게 이유에 대해서 어떠한 말을 하려고 하는 지 모르겠습니다. 구체적으로 명시하는게 좋을 거 같습니다. 두 번째 바디 또한 너무 짧습니다. 짧다 보니 구체적인 설명이 빈약해보입니다 그냥 현상만 서술되었다라는 느낌이 듭니다. 따라서 좀 더 명확하게 서술하시는 것을 추천합니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |