▶ Your Answer :
A person should not make an important decision alone. Without a doubt, making a decision is an important task in our lives. Thus some people think that a person should make a decision alone, while other people think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views, If I have to choose one, I would say that a person should decide about his own choices without anyone’s interruption. There are several reasons and examples as follows. for the following two subsequent reasons. First of all, the owner of the your live would be yourself life depends on person's own self. Although you could be given help from experienced people or advisers people can be helped from experienced people, but they cannot choose your own choices instead of you.the decision itself. Also, when you are responsible for your decision genuinely, you can be a real mature adult and live your life in a your way. Researchers performed a study with students. Half of the students have decided to their choices alone. But the other half did not. The result, in general, was that the students who made a decision alone would be more mature person and had their own stable values than whose who have be given help from other people. Also, the subject included said that even though they listened to lots of advices, they did not give authority of decision. And they could learn responsibilities from selecting choices. On top of that, as a person decides alone, they do not attribute negative results to other people. People tend to take over their responsibilities to external environments or surrounding people when the bad outcomes was happened. Thus, a person should decide their selections with their own hands. For example, when my friend and I was a middle school students, my friends asked me about her skirt color. So I said you would better with white. Then, my friend bought a white color of skirt. However, a few day after, she attributed stained skirt to me. So I was so absurd. In brief, I firmly believe that the advantages of making a decision alone far outweigh its disadvantages for the reason i have mentioned before. All in all, the importance of taking responsibility and living with my own values cannot underestimated in one’s life. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 이 에세이에서 가장 먼저 고쳐야할 부분은 you를 사용한 것 입니다. 독립형 에세이에 있어서 you 를 사용하면 안됩니다. 이인칭 주어로 에세이를 서술하는 것 보다는 삼인칭 시점으로 에세이를 서술하는 것이 좋습니다. 이러한 효과 때문에 에세이 자체가 너무 구어체로 서술되었다라는 느낌이 듭니다. 따라서 앞으로 에세이를 서술할 때는 좀 더 에세이 형식에 맞게 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |