Humans changed over time. They became taller, faster, older, (older보다 have
longer life spans를 써주세요) and fatter. In the beginning, they all had similar cultures, convention,
and idealism. However, they evolved to have diverse cultures and practices. As
time went by, every individual started to have different opinions and formed
diverse backgrounds. Now anyone can be unique, and have any be idealistic in the contemporary society. Therefore,
the topic that people with different interests or personalities cannot be
friends can have varieties of point of view. However, based on my cultural
backgrounds, I would disagree. First, there are people who like meeting new
people having who have personalities
different with them. Second, people can get close to other people who are
distinguishable from them by sharing their dissimilar interests.
To begin with, there are people who want to become intimate with others possessing who
possess characters that are unlike with
them from theirs. Although they have
different natures at first, eventually they will be similar with each other. That is, they will be friends, giving a good effects to one another. For example, when I was a middle
school student, I met a classmate with a personality
highly different from me mine. At first,
the conversation did not work well with her. As we spent a lot of time
together, we became more and more alike. As a result, we became the best
friends. Also, I could have widened my perspective looking the world by
talking with her. It had such a huge influence on me that I believe people with
different personalities can be friends.
In addition, nowadays, there are many
people who have diverse hobbies. They can become close by sharing their
dissimilar interests. For example, I like drawing and my friend likes playing
the piano. We were also interested in each other's hobbies. We began to own
pastimes, so that we could learn new things. Through these processes, we were able to get closer and
could be friends. From this experience, one can infer that people with
different interests can be friends.
After the rationales, the essay
reached a conclusion. In the end, a point of view which I offered should not be
underestimated because I explained there are people who like meeting new people
having who have personalities different
with them and people can get close to other people who are distinguishable from them by sharing their dissimilar interests. They
are all valid points to behold. Therefore, the postmodernist societies should
not gravitate toward the topic.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
23 |
Overall
Comment: |
포인트는 좋지만, 문법 오류가 좀
많습니다. 또한 예시들이 객관적이지가 않고 주관적인 예시들만 적으셔서 아쉬웠어요. 설문조사나 연구 결과 같은 예시들을 활용하세요. 위
지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
|