▶ Your Answer :
The reading passage contends that increasing
the tax on tobaccos has several advantages. On the other hand, the lecturer brings
up several points that contradict this argument.,
First,
the lecturer claims that raising the tax on tobacco products cannot be make prevent young people from smoking. not to smoke. Young people buy cigarettes via black market dealers.who smuggle tobaccos and sell them to the teenagers. And because of tThe
increased tax, the number of smuggling the products will be higher, which makes it easier for teenagers to buy smuggled tobaccos. them from the smugglers. This counters the
reading passage’s claim that the higher prices will result in the decline of
smoking rate of teenagers because they cannot afford it. lecture내용에서 반복되는 요소나 불필요한 설명들을 줄이고 핵심 내용만 남길 수 있는 부분들 위주로 체크했으니 참고해주세요.
Next,
the lecturer argues that the increased tax rate of the tobaccos cannot benefit
the environment. As a few people buy cigarettes due to the higher prices, the
government will have less tax revenue. Then it cannot make many efforts like
plating trees to revive the environment because of the decreased finance. This casts
doubt to on the reading passage’s claim that the environment can be repaired by increasing
tax, planting trees and removing harmful chemicals. 세금을 환경에 씀으로써 환경 개선이 가능하다는 점이 핵심내용에 더 가까울 것 같아요. 실제 지문 내용 체크해주세요.
Finally, Final,
the lecturer points out that the increased tax can make a lot of jobs to
disappear. This is because the tTobacco industries create many jobs in agriculture,
manufacture and retail industry. So, rRaising prices of cigarettes will cause more
poverty. This refutes the reading passage’s claim that the higher tax will be
used to help poor people through social welfare programs.
Comment : 대체로 대립되는 포인트나 내용들을 잘 파악해주신 것 같은데, reading 주장이 어색해 보이는 부분들은 지문 한 번 더 체크하셔서 핵심 내용이 잘 담기도록 다듬어주시면 좋을 것 같아요. lecture내용의 경우 근거나 주장들은 모두 매끄러워 보이는데, 표현 반복이나 불필요한 detail이 들어간 부분들이 좀 아쉬웠어요. 더 간단하게 줄일 수 있는 부분을 body1 참고하셔서 정돈해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 A response at this level is generally good in selecting the important information from the lecture and in coherently and accurately presenting this information in relation to the relevant information in the reading, but it may have minor omission, inaccuracy, vagueness, or imprecision of some content from the lecture or in connection to points made in the reading. A response is also scored at this level if it has more frequent or noticeable minor language errors, as long as such usage and grammatical structures do not result in anything more than an occasional lapse of clarity or in the connection of ideas.
|