▶ Your Answer : About the statement ‘Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes.’, I disagree with the statement. Rather, I think it is it’s the opposite. I think airplane is the one which has made a greater impact.
First off, basically, you cannot can’t travel to other countries by driving cars across the ocean or the sky, and it took too long to travel by marine, such as boats or ships. So by comparing, airplanes were more efficient in travelling farther, so airplanes would have made a greater impact on society. Secondly, before airplanes were invented, flying across the sky like birds was a dream of most people. They thought human beings were impossible to fly across the sky, so they imagined humans flying in myths or novels. Airplanes fulfilled their dreams, so airplanes would have made a great impact on society. Lastly, cars were originated from carriages, but airplane was an original invention which had no particular motif. So people would have been new to this flying vehicle. I think people would feel a greater impact in something new and original, so I think airplanes have made a greater impact on society than cars.
Limited (1-16) 글자수 300자 미달 입니다. 미니멈 글자 수 채우지 못하면 감점됩니다.
서론 -축약형 지양해주세요. it's-->it is
첫번째 본문 -축약형 지양해주세요. can't-->cannot
각 본문 별로 나름의 이유들은 나와있는데 그것에 대한 설명들이 없습니다. 그냥 멋있다, 신기하다, 새롭다는 것은 좋은 논리가 아닙니다. 타당한 근거/예시/설명으로 본인의 주장을 뒷받침 해주세요. 첫본문 -왜 효율성의 증대가 사람들에게 큰 영향을 주었고, 어떤 파생적인 발전에 (무역, 교류, 등등) 기여를 했는지 적어주시면 좋습니다. 또한, 차보다 멀리가는 장점을 강조해서 써주세요. 두번째 본문 -사람들의 꿈을 이루어준것이 어떤 영향을 끼쳤고, 그것이 왜 큰영향인지 설명해주세요.
세번째 -왜 새롭고 오리지널한것이 그렇지 않은 것보다 좋고 큰 영향을 끼치는지 구체적으로 설명해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~ |